“To forgive or not to forgive
To forgive or not to forgive
To forgive or not to forgive”
So many times people toss this question around in their mind like they did when they were children.
Remember the game we played with daisy petals. We would grab a daisy and start plucking petals.
“He loves me, he loves me not. he loves me, he loves me not” and if the answer wasn’t what we wanted we would start again – starting with a different petal, hoping we would get the result we wanted.
The problem is that we seem to play this game in regard to forgiving someone as though God gave us a choice. He didn’t! God specifically deals with the subject of forgiveness and unforgiveness in the Bible. We cannot read scriptures on forgiveness without concluding that forgiveness is not an option for the born – again believer. Being guided by our feelings is not optional. When our hearts are set on the Christian life, our commitment is to forgive. This is what we should choose to do. You must forgive if you’re going to live in the blessings of God.
Matthew 6:14-15 (NKJV)
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
The Benefits of Forgiveness
There are so many benefits to forgiveness. The most important one is that we are forgiven and our emotions are healthy and free. You may ask: “How do my emotions stay healthy?” I’m glad you asked. Let’s take a look at a few good reasons why we should forgive.
1) We are commanded to.
2) When you forgive someone – they lose their power over you.
Forgiveness frees us to live the abundant life. Until you forgive you will live in torment and God will send the tormentors after you. (Matthew 18:34)
3) The negative impact of resentment, anger, bitterness, hurts, etc. is removed.
4) You allow God to forgive and heal you.
5) Forgiveness is the only way to be fair to yourself.
The main concern that a person who has been hurt has, seems to be that the people who hurt you are not being punished. Getting even is playing a loser’s game. It just leaves you with more hurt and more frustration. When you don’t forgive, the pain is relived at the mention of their name.
Forgiveness frees you up. When you forgive you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, and you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free – yourself.
Getting even is playing a losing game. Revenge never feels like you thought it would.
6) Forgiveness brings peace of mind. Jesus forgave us so we owe it to others to extend forgiveness with no conditions.
Cost of Unforgiveness
When We Fail To Forgive – It Will Cost Us Something.
1) God won’t forgive you. He will shut His ear to your prayers.
Mark 11:25-26 (NKJV)
“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.”
But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.
Do not disqualify yourself from God’s forgiveness. You must consider the cost of Unforgiveness.
2) Refusing to forgive allows a root of bitterness to grow.
Hebrews 12:15 (NKJV)
”Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness spring up, cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.”
3.) Refusing to forgive allows (or leaves) an opening in our life for Satan to take an advantage.
II Cor. 2:10:11 (NKJV)
”Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.”
4.) We Grieve The Holy Spirit
Ephesians 4:30-32 (NKJV)
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
5.) Refusing to forgive causes us to walk in darkness.
There is a vital connection between forgiveness and healing. Forgiveness is essential to our healing.
6.) Luke 5:23 (NKJV)
”which is easier to say, “your sins are forgiven you, or to say Rise up and walk.”
I John 2:9-11 (NKJV)
“He who says he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness until now.
He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him. But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.”
The word “hate” here represents Unforgiveness.
Walking in darkness is walking in step with Satan and his kingdom. You cannot walk in darkness and light. Jesus delivers us from darkness when we are born again. And thus we enter into the Kingdom of Light. When we forsake that light to walk again in darkness, we lose the privilege of receiving divine guidance. We lose the connection with the light.
7.) Unforgiveness ties us emotionally to the person we refuse to forgive. Therefore, we are not free of them. They consume our thoughts. They dominate our focus.
8.) We cannot walk in the nature or image of God when we refuse to forgive.
What Is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the canceling of a debt. When someone hurts you, you choose to wipe the record clean – as though it didn’t happen.
It’s like pardoning someone who committed a crime and deserves to be punished. Then someone in authority steps in and pardons them.
You have the authority to pardon people who have committed personal hurts and crimes against you. To be able to cancel a crime is a powerful position to be in. You put yourself in a position of spiritual power when you exercise your choice to cancel a debt owed you through forgiveness. This act will keep you healthy emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
Don’t keep “rubbing it in” with people who have wronged you, “rub it out” with the power of forgiveness.
More Scriptures to Ponder:
Matthew 6:12 (NKJV)
“And forgive us our debts, as we forget our debtors.” (This is part of the Lord’s prayer)
Proverbs 14:10 (NKJV)
“The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy.”
Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)
“And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
Examples of Forgiveness In The Bible
(1) Jesus
Colossians 1:13-14 (NKJV)
“He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the Kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.”
(2) Joseph
Genesis 45:4-5 (NKJV)
“And Joseph said to his brothers, ‘Please come near to me.’ So they came near. Then he said; ‘I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. ‘But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.”
(3) Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
Matthew 18:21-35 (NKJV)
© Wanda Onstad 2007
http://shekinahgospelchurch.com
